I was driving which, you'll find in common with all my signs, and as I am driving I saw a car with a CSU (Colorado State) liscense plate and numerous bumper stickers. It caught my eye long enough to force me to think is "this a sign? Maybe I am supposed to stay here after all." This came just days after I decided that maybe moving to California was a bad idea, a beyond bad idea, a catastrophic decision that would haunt me for nine months. And the thought of being in that situation for enough time to have conceived and birthed a child horrified me. Enter: The meltdown. The Meltdown sent me into a tailspin as I tried to determine if I was just trippin' out or if I had some sort of legitmate calling/desire to stay in Colorado.
A few days later, I was out driving around again and saw another bumper sticker. However, this one was more complicated. I saw a sticker that read "Santa Barbara" on the side of some trendy car (you know, the very LA-ish cars that look like mini-milk trucks). And I thought to myself "What the $&%# is that sticker doing on that car, in the middle of Colorado?" Enter: The Panic. At this point, I had decided that I was supposed to stay in CO. But this "sighting" was too hard to ignore as it is more unique to spot big foot than a Santa Barbaran in Colorado ! So after a lot of thinking and praying, I re-evaluated the situation and decided to take a chance and make the move out California.
So today I find myself in sunny Santa Barbara driving to my dream job, in my dream car, after having left my dream house, having kissed prince charming goodbye on my way out the door. Well actually,...none of that is true, except the dream car part and let's be honest anything was an improvement from my old blazer. So really, as I am driving alone from the house that is indefinitely under construction and, extremely expensive, to my entry-level, unfulfilling job which requires me to walk 3.5 blocks to work every morning... I am thinking that I need a sign, a sign that what I am doing is the right thing. And just moments after thinking this one gracefully appears on the back of a decrepit Honda accord. It says "Believe." So simple and yet so powerful...just believe. Believe that everything is going to be alright, believe that I will be with you always, believe that you are doing the right thing, believe in Me. So that's what I am doing and in the words of a classic 80's song, once butchered and transformed into a Spring Sing theme song, all I have to say is "Don't Stop Believein...'"
2 comments:
this reminds me of the scene in bruce almighty. hehe. but on a more serious note: i would venture to say (along with spencer and sitser) that there is no wrong path or that you made a bad decision. we do need to believe that we are going to be okay and that the will of God is a way of life. we must be content in the unknown and as spencer says remind ourselves that "this is the life we have chosen". it's okay to change your mind, go back and say "well at least i tried." we never know how God will use our choices in his plan for our lives. we must put ourselves in a place that he can work in and through it. then we realize that our "wrong" decision was not so wrong and so long as we remain faithful and full of belief, he will blessed us and use us for his purposes.
i love you and admire your thoughtfulness, intentionality, and willingness to question. blessings my friend.
truppy why do you have a creeper title blog?
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